Mark Wilson the Troll. Part 0

I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for quite some time now.  It cuts in to everything I do.  It's absolutely painful and that is why I don't get anything done most of the time in my art world.  I keep everything up as far as my site and my Etsy and everything.  I am always planning to get back into the art community.  It is just a matter of getting my depression under control.  

I know a lot of my problems are my own fault.  It isn't like I don't know that.  I have done and said things that cannot be reversed.  I have ruined friendships I probably shouldn't have.  But I have been trying to turn my life around.  For quite some time now actually.

I used to be a Troll online.  It consumed my life actually.  There was this article way back when Facebook first started talking about a new kind of Psychosis that emerged due to heavy online use.  I believe a lot of my problems stem from that experience.  I don't mean to make excuses for my behavior, but it definitely crossed my mind back then and even now. 

I have been in Therapy for a few years now.  I have been to therapy in the past but this time around was due to a meltdown I had.  The meltdown was a result of me going off my medication.  My journey into healing and learning did not start a few years ago it started much earlier.  Back way before 2015.  I am not sure if my Trolling had come to a stop at that point just yet.  But this learning experience has been an ongoing thing for quite a while at this point.

Since I have stopped Trolling I don't think I have really talked about how I use to do it.  What I actually use to do is spew hatred out into the world via social media.  I am not proud of this.

I will be getting more in depth with this topic.  I want to do something with Mental Health Awareness.  More specifically Men's Mental Health.  I want to incorporate this topic into both Art and discussion.  I want to do this soon.  

I have an idea of doing both a fanzine and a podcast on this topic.  The fanzine most likely will be these blogs and others compiled into a fanzine format.  As far as the podcast I am not for using A.I.  I experimented with it a little and I feel it is an Art killer to say the least.  I do think it is good for editing but not for podcasting.  A.I. is ok for certain things i suppose but I do still believe it is an Art killer.  But that is a whole other topic...

I designed a T shirt in 2024 for Men's Mental Health and I will resurrect that with a much better design.  

Back to the discussion of my Trolling and my depression

-to be continued